Money is usually the biggest stressor in a marriage. It is hard to imagine two people being on the same page when it comes to deciding how to spend, save, and budget. If you are about to walk down the aisle or have already done so, here are 15 money tips that will lead to a happier marriage.
1. Communicate
Communication is essential in all aspects of your relationship, and it is vital with finances. Be honest with your spouse upfront about how your finances will merge and what will stay separate.
2. Set Goals Together
Having the same goals in mind is a healthy way to work together. If you both hope to take a lavish vacation or buy a home, saving together will be easier. You can even create a vision board to keep your eye on the prize.
3. Share Some Accounts
Some couples want to keep their finances completely separate in marriage. This does not usually work and can cause strain. Committing to your partnership should include all aspects of your life. This might look like keeping a joint account for shared bills.
4. Keep Some Things Separate
Keeping some of your credit cards and bank accounts is okay. As long as you are honest with your spouse, it is good to have some independence. Also, you don’t want them to see every purchase (like their birthday gifts) on your joint statement.
5. Be Honest
According to a survey by Forbes, almost 40% of spouses have admitted to lying about finances. Having a conversation about credit card debt from years ago may be awkward, but having that conversation after the interest has increased will become more challenging. Even worse, having it pop up as a surprise when buying a house or car together will be a nightmare!
6. Set a Spending Limit
To maintain your independence, you should not have to discuss every purchase. Set an amount early on and don’t go over it. This amount will differ for every couple, so decide what is sensible for you and your spouse.
7. Talk About Family Plans
Discuss what the plan is if you start a family. Will you both work full-time and pay for childcare? Will one of you leave your career and care for the family? This is a big logistical decision and will only lead to conflict if not discussed early in the relationship.
8. Discuss How to Raise Kids
This is a big one, but we are just touching on the financial aspects of raising children, which is still a lot. Agree to keep the kids from ruling your spending and allocate a budget for gifts and experiences. Paying for education, allowances, and getting their first car are all big conversations.
9. Plan for the Future
Talking about plans for the end of life is likely the most unromantic conversation. However, being prepared to ensure your spouse is set up or knows how to divide your assets is important. Be sure to have life insurance and wills in place.
10. Do Not Compete
It’s easier said than done, but drop the power struggle regarding who makes more. It helps to establish early on that you are both equals in the marriage.
11. Prepare for Retirement
Discuss your dreams for retirement, but have a realistic plan. Discuss when and how much savings you want when you retire. Combine investments to diversify your portfolio. Take advantage of what your employers offer.
12. Discuss Loans and Family
In some cultures, it is acceptable, or even expected, to support extended family. One spouse may feel comfortable loaning a friend money while the other does not. Whatever may happen, have a plan in place before this situation arises.
13. Know Who You Are Marrying
Although people can change, you should have a good understanding of how your spouse is with money. If you are marrying a frugal person, it will be no surprise when they are unhappy with your designer shopping habit. And vice versa. Have realistic expectations.
14. Make a Spending Calendar or Spreadsheet
Having a visual aid you can both see will help with transparency. It will also help you stay on track toward your goals for savings and retirement. Try having a shared spreadsheet you can both edit, or print it out if it makes it easier to keep track of.
15. Review Finances Often
A lot can change after your wedding or initial discussion about finances. Discuss this quarterly, or make it a habit to revisit the topic every new year. Make sure you are still on the same page with your financial goals and are both happy.